Lube Is Love: Stop Making It Taboo
A joyful, practical celebration of why lube belongs in every pleasure toolkit
Somewhere along the line, someone decided that using lube meant something was wrong. That if you really wanted it, you would be wet enough. That if he was a real man, he would get hard and stay hard without help. That natural meant better. That asking for lube meant admitting failure.
Let’s go ahead and throw all of that out.
Lube is not a backup plan. It is not an apology. It is not just for emergencies. Lube is support. Lube is comfort. Lube is freedom. Lube is love.
Bodies Change. Lube Helps.
Vaginas do not always self-lubricate on cue. That is true for people who are aroused, who are young, who are old, who are postpartum, who are on certain medications, who are stressed, who are in menopause, or who are just human. Lubrication is not a reliable indicator of desire. It is just one part of a much bigger picture.
Penises are no more immune to change. Erections may need more support with age, and even when arousal is strong, friction can cause discomfort or distraction.
Adding lube makes touch smoother, longer lasting, and less likely to cause tiny tears or irritation. It can turn something mildly enjoyable into something deeply pleasurable. It lets you focus on sensation instead of adjusting for dryness.
Lube supports the body in doing what it already wants to do: feel good.
There Is No Shame in Needing Help to Feel Good
So many people hesitate to reach for lube because they think it means something is wrong with them. But here’s the truth: needing support does not mean you are failing. It means you are tending to your experience. It means you are choosing comfort and ease. It means you are paying attention to what feels better, not just what is expected.
Using lube does not mean your partner is not turning you on. It means you are making the experience better for both of you. It means you are choosing to care for your body, and theirs, with attention and generosity.
Lube can be tender. It can be hot. It can be part of foreplay, part of aftercare, part of the entire encounter. It is not just a bottle on the nightstand. It is an invitation to treat your pleasure with respect.
Different Lube for Different Needs
Not all lubes are the same, and that is a good thing. Different bodies and different activities call for different kinds of support.
Water-based lube is versatile and toy-friendly. It works well for most people, though it may dry out over time and need to be reapplied. Great for vaginal play and for those who prefer a lighter feel.
Silicone-based lube is long lasting and extra slick. It is ideal for anal play or extended sessions. It is not always compatible with silicone toys, so check your gear before mixing. Silicone lube stays slippery even in water, making it great for showers and baths.
Oil-based lube can feel luxurious and nourishing. Think coconut oil or specially formulated massage oils. It is not condom-safe and can stain sheets, but it is a lovely choice for solo touch or slower, sensual exploration.
If you are prone to irritation, look for fragrance-free and glycerin-free options. If you are exploring anal play, always use lube. The rectum does not self-lubricate, and comfort depends on generous application.
You deserve a lube that fits your body, your values, and your style of play. Experiment. Take notes. Make it part of your toolkit.
Using Lube Is Not Just Practical. It Is Loving.
Imagine saying to your partner, I want this to feel as good as possible for both of us. Or saying to yourself, My body is worthy of ease. That is what lube does. It softens friction. It prevents pain. It creates more space for pleasure to grow.
There is nothing shameful about making sex easier. There is nothing shameful about choosing comfort. There is nothing shameful about listening to what your body needs.
In fact, that might be the most loving thing you can do.
So bring out the lube. Keep it visible. Talk about it like the trusted companion it is. Laugh if it spills. Reapply when you need to. Choose the slippery path, not because you have to, but because it feels better that way.
With love,
Nina