Curiosity Over Shame: The Heart of Sex Ed

Why asking questions, even awkward ones, is sacred, and how Nina has answered thousands

Sex education is not just about anatomy. It is not just about techniques or terminology. It is about giving people permission to ask the questions they were too afraid to speak out loud. It is about replacing silence with language. Replacing shame with understanding. Replacing fear with possibility.

The most powerful sex ed I have ever done has not been on a stage. It has been in the quiet moments. In the toy store aisle. In the after-work messages. In the emails that begin, I have never told anyone this before, but...

Questions Are Sacred

Every time someone asks a question about sex, they are telling you something important. They are saying, I want to feel connected. I want to feel normal. I want to understand myself. I want to stop pretending. I want to be touched with care. I want to stop hurting. I want to start feeling again.

That is not small. That is sacred.

When someone asks, Is it normal to... or Am I broken because... or Why do I shut down when... they are not just looking for facts. They are looking for relief. They are looking for someone who will not flinch when they speak the truth. They are looking for someone who will stay.

Shame isolates. Curiosity connects.

That is the heart of sex ed. Not having all the answers. But being willing to meet the question.

Awkward Questions Are Often the Most Important

The questions people are most embarrassed to ask are often the ones they most need answered. They are the questions that have been festering in silence. That have been shaped by fear, misinformation, and years of being told not to talk about it.

What if I do not like being touched?
Is it okay that I want more than my partner?
Why do I fantasize about things that scare me?
Can I still be sexual if I have a disability?
Is it strange that I do not want sex at all?

I have heard every kind of question. From teenagers. From elders. From religious folks. From kinksters. From couples. From survivors. From people who have had a lot of sex and people who have had none. From people who are deeply curious and people who are deeply afraid.

What they all have in common is the desire to feel seen without being judged.

When I answer a question, I do not just give information. I give context. I give language. I give permission to feel. To not know. To be in process.

Curiosity Is a Skill You Can Practice

You do not have to be fearless to be curious. You just have to be willing to wonder.

You can say to yourself, I do not know how to feel about this, but I want to learn. You can say to your partner, I do not have the answers, but I want to talk about it. You can say to your body, I am listening now. Even if I never did before.

Curiosity does not mean you rush in without care. It means you make space for exploration. For nuance. For questions that do not have quick solutions.

It is okay to not know what you want. It is okay to not know what feels good. It is okay to ask the same question more than once. Your sexuality is not a test to pass. It is a relationship to build.

The Questions Keep Coming, and That Is a Good Thing

After forty years in this field, I still get questions I have never heard before. I still learn from what people ask. I still find beauty in the moment someone dares to tell the truth.

Sex ed is not a one-time conversation. It is lifelong. It changes with age, with illness, with new partners, with new awareness. The goal is not to arrive. The goal is to stay in relationship with your body and your desires.

To anyone who has ever been afraid to ask, thank you. Your courage keeps this work alive.

And to anyone holding a question now, bring it. Awkward or scared or quiet or loud. I will not look away.

With love,
Nina