Pleasure Isn’t the Prize at the End of Suffering

We’ve been taught to treat pleasure like a bonus. Like something you earn after you’ve worked hard enough, dieted long enough, healed fully, or proven your worth. It’s framed as the dessert — sweet, fleeting, maybe even a little indulgent — but definitely not essential.

That framing is wrong. And damaging.

Pleasure is not a reward. It’s a vital sign. A biological and spiritual function. A part of your system that, when nurtured, supports mental health, immune health, relational connection, and emotional regulation.

Pleasure belongs. Right alongside rest, nourishment, breath, and boundaries.

The Lie of “Earned” Pleasure

You don’t have to reach a certain weight to deserve pleasure.
You don’t have to hit all your goals first.
You don’t need perfect communication, trauma resolution, or a hyper-orgasmic body.

You don’t have to be healed to feel.

And yet — most people wait. Wait to buy the toy. Wait to take the bath. Wait to ask for touch. Wait until it “makes sense” or “feels justified.” That’s how we disappear from ourselves.

Your desire is not something you “get” when you’ve been good. It’s something you honor because you are alive.

What Pleasure Actually Does for You

Pleasure isn’t just indulgence — it’s regulation. It brings the nervous system back into safety. It restores breath. It helps the body release trauma residue. It softens isolation. It invites play, creativity, connection.

Whether it's sexual pleasure, aesthetic pleasure, movement, taste, or music — your system thrives when it has access to what feels good.

This is why every healing modality, every sustainable spiritual practice, and every long-term relationship needs room for pleasure. Not as a break from the work — as part of the work.

If You Were Taught to Distrust Pleasure

You might feel guilt when you enjoy something “too much.” You might minimize your own hunger. You might fear that seeking pleasure makes you selfish, lazy, or shallow.

That’s not your fault. You were handed a script — from religion, capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy — that said: pleasure is dangerous. That script is a lie.

You don’t need to banish guilt in order to feel pleasure. But you can begin practicing something new anyway.

You can let pleasure be data. You can let it be guidepost. You can let it be practice — just like boundaries, communication, and rest.

Ways to Let Pleasure In — Now, Not Later

This doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic. Small, real, and consistent works wonders.

Linger in a hot shower for two more minutes
Touch your own skin like it’s deserving of reverence
Eat slowly — and notice the taste
Breathe into the place that says “not now,” and ask, “Why not?”
Say, “This feels good,” out loud — even if no one’s around
Light a candle and let your eyes rest — even for thirty seconds

Pleasure doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be present.

Let Your Health Include Joy

You are allowed to orient to what feels good. Not as a distraction from your healing — but as a part of it.

Let this be true:

Arousal is not a threat
Rest is not laziness
Asking for touch is not neediness
Feeling good is not a sin
Seeking joy is not selfish

Your pleasure isn’t extra. It’s essential.

Pleasure Is Part of Health — Not a Reward for Being Good