Celebrating Bisexuality: The Beauty of Fluid Attraction
June 6, 2025
There's something beautifully radical about bisexuality that goes beyond the simple ability to be attracted to more than one gender. It challenges our culture's obsession with categories, binaries, and neat little boxes that supposedly define who we are and how we love. Today, let's celebrate the gorgeous complexity of bisexual and fluid attraction—and why this visibility matters for everyone.
My Journey Into Understanding Attraction's Fluidity
When I first stepped into adult entertainment in the early 1980s, I was already aware of my attraction to women. But I was also married to a man I adored. This wasn't confusion or experimentation—it was the natural expression of my authentic sexuality, which refused to be limited by gender boundaries.
At the time, there wasn't much language for what I was experiencing. The world largely operated on a "pick a side" mentality. You were either straight or gay, and bisexuality was often dismissed as a pit stop on the way to choosing your "real" orientation.
But here's what I knew then and know even more deeply now: attraction doesn't follow the neat categories society creates for it. It's as varied and complex as human beings themselves.
Understanding the Bisexual Spectrum
Bisexuality isn't just about being equally attracted to men and women (though that's certainly one valid expression). The bisexual umbrella encompasses a beautiful range of experiences:
Classical Bisexuality: Attraction to both men and women, regardless of degree or preference Pansexuality: Attraction to people regardless of gender identity or expression Fluid Sexuality: Attraction that changes over time or in different circumstances Heteroflexible/Homoflexible: Primarily attracted to one gender but open to others Romantic vs. Sexual Splits: Being romantically attracted to one gender but sexually attracted to others, or vice versa
What unites all these experiences is the recognition that human attraction transcends the limitations of binary thinking.
The Unique Challenges of Bisexual Visibility
Bisexual individuals face a particular form of erasure that's both exhausting and harmful. Unlike gay or lesbian identities, bisexuality is constantly questioned, dismissed, or invalidated—often by both straight and gay communities.
Biphobia from Straight Communities:
"You're just experimenting"
"It's a phase"
"You're greedy or can't make up your mind"
"Bisexuality isn't real"
Biphobia from Gay/Lesbian Communities:
"You're not really queer"
"You have straight privilege"
"You're just afraid to come out as fully gay"
"You can't be trusted in relationships"
This double discrimination leaves many bisexual people feeling like they don't belong anywhere—too queer for straight spaces, not queer enough for gay spaces.
The Invisibility Problem
One of the most frustrating aspects of biphobia is how bisexual people become invisible the moment they're in a relationship. If a bisexual woman is with a man, she's assumed to be straight. If she's with a woman, she's assumed to be lesbian. Her actual identity disappears based on her current partner.
This invisibility has real consequences:
Mental Health: Bisexual individuals have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide than both straight and gay/lesbian people
Healthcare: Medical providers often make assumptions based on current partners, missing important health considerations
Community: Many feel excluded from LGBTQ+ spaces and support systems
Relationships: Partners may struggle with insecurity or misunderstanding about bisexual identity
Why Fluid Attraction is Actually Revolutionary
In a culture obsessed with labels and categories, embracing fluid attraction is a deeply radical act. It says:
People are more complex than boxes: Human sexuality doesn't fit neat categories, and that's beautiful
Love transcends gender: The capacity to connect with someone can go beyond physical characteristics
Identity isn't determined by current circumstances: Who you're with right now doesn't define who you are
Sexuality can evolve: It's okay for attraction to change over time without invalidating past experiences
Authenticity matters more than conformity: Living your truth is more important than fitting others' expectations
The Connection to Sexual Liberation
As someone who's spent decades advocating for sexual freedom and education, I see bisexuality as part of the larger project of sexual liberation. When we accept that attraction is fluid and complex, we create space for everyone to explore their authentic desires without shame.
This benefits everyone:
Straight people can acknowledge same-sex attractions without panic
Gay and lesbian individuals can explore the full spectrum of their desires
Everyone can focus on connection and compatibility rather than gender matching
Society becomes more accepting of diverse expressions of love and desire
Celebrating Bisexual Contributions
The bisexual community has always been part of LGBTQ+ history, even when their contributions were erased or their identities were invisible:
Activism: Many prominent LGBTQ+ activists throughout history were bisexual
Art and Culture: Bisexual artists, writers, and performers have enriched our cultural landscape
Bridge Building: Bisexual individuals often serve as bridges between different communities
Advocacy: The fight for bisexual visibility has helped expand understanding of sexuality for everyone
Addressing Common Myths and Misconceptions
Myth: "Bisexual people are just confused" Reality: Bisexuality is a clear, valid sexual orientation. The confusion comes from society's inability to accept non-binary sexuality.
Myth: "Bisexual people are more likely to cheat" Reality: Infidelity is about character and commitment, not sexual orientation. Bisexual people are no more likely to be unfaithful than anyone else.
Myth: "Bisexuality is just a phase" Reality: While some people's understanding of their sexuality evolves, bisexuality is a legitimate orientation that can last a lifetime.
Myth: "You have to be equally attracted to all genders to be bisexual" Reality: Attraction can vary in intensity and preference while still being validly bisexual.
Myth: "Bisexual people in straight-appearing relationships aren't really queer" Reality: Your orientation doesn't change based on your current partner. A bisexual person is always bisexual.
Supporting Bisexual Visibility and Community
Whether you're bisexual yourself or an ally, here's how you can support bisexual visibility:
Use Inclusive Language: Say "partner" instead of assuming gender, acknowledge bisexuality when discussing LGBTQ+ issues, and avoid erasure in casual conversation.
Challenge Biphobia: Speak up when you hear biphobic comments, whether they come from straight or gay people. Silence enables erasure.
Support Bisexual Organizations: Donate to or volunteer with groups specifically focused on bisexual advocacy and support.
Listen to Bisexual Voices: Read books, follow social media accounts, and attend events where bisexual people share their own stories.
Examine Your Own Assumptions: We all absorb biphobic messages from culture. Take time to examine your own biases and work to overcome them.
The Beauty of Attraction Without Borders
What I find most beautiful about bisexuality and fluid attraction is how it celebrates the full spectrum of human connection. When we're not limited by gender in our attractions, we open ourselves to connections based on personality, chemistry, shared values, and genuine compatibility.
This doesn't mean bisexual people are "less picky" or "will date anyone"—it means they evaluate potential partners based on the full person rather than ruling people out based on gender alone.
For Those Questioning Their Own Attractions
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these descriptions, know that:
Your feelings are valid regardless of what you call them
You don't need to rush to label yourself if you're not ready
Your attractions can change without invalidating your current identity
You deserve support and community regardless of how you identify
There's no "right way" to be bisexual or experience fluid attraction
Creating a More Inclusive World
Celebrating bisexuality isn't just about supporting one group—it's about creating a world where everyone can love authentically. When we normalize attraction that crosses gender lines, we:
Reduce pressure on everyone to fit rigid categories
Increase acceptance of diverse relationships and family structures
Support young people who are exploring their identities
Build stronger communities that welcome complexity and nuance
Advance liberation for all marginalized sexualities
The Future of Fluid Love
As society slowly becomes more accepting of diverse sexualities, I see a future where bisexuality and fluid attraction are celebrated rather than erased. Where people can love across gender lines without explanation or justification. Where attraction is seen as the beautiful, complex phenomenon it actually is.
We're not there yet, but every person who lives authentically, every ally who speaks up against biphobia, and every celebration of bisexual identity moves us closer to that world.
Your Role in the Revolution
This Pride Month and beyond, consider how you can support bisexual visibility and celebrate the beauty of fluid attraction:
Examine your own relationship to attraction and labels
Speak up against biphobia wherever you encounter it
Support media and art that includes positive bisexual representation
Create inclusive spaces in your own communities and relationships
Listen to and amplify bisexual voices rather than speaking for them
Remember: love is love, attraction is attraction, and the human heart doesn't follow the categories we create for it. That's not a bug—it's a feature. It's what makes us beautifully, gloriously human.
Here's to everyone who loves beyond boundaries, who refuses to be boxed in by others' limitations, and who celebrates the full spectrum of human attraction. You make the world more honest, more open, and more beautiful.
How has understanding fluid attraction changed your perspective on sexuality or relationships? What role do you play in supporting bisexual visibility? Let's celebrate the beautiful complexity of human attraction together.
With Love,
Nina