Yes, Sex Workers Belong at the Table

A bold piece on why sex workers are vital educators, caregivers, and wisdom keepers

There are few professions more misunderstood than sex work. It is romanticized, criminalized, fetishized, and erased. Sometimes all of that happens in the same breath. But what rarely happens is this: being listened to. Being honored. Being invited in not just as a curiosity or controversy, but as a voice of lived wisdom.

Sex workers are not on the edges of the conversation about sexuality. We are the conversation. And we have been for a long time.

It is time we were treated like it.

Sex Work Is Care Work

Sex work is not just about sex. It is about care. It is about attunement. It is about meeting people where they are. That might mean loneliness, grief, curiosity, fear, aching for connection, or longing to be seen. It is about staying present in moments most people run from. It is about offering touch, attention, fantasy, honesty, and sometimes silence.

Sex workers hold what is too tender, too taboo, or too tangled for the rest of the world. We do this with skill. With boundaries. With intuition. With presence. Not always perfectly, but often with more emotional intelligence than we are ever given credit for.

This is not a metaphor. This is labor. This is wisdom. This is care.

We Have Taught You More Than You Know

Much of what people know about sex has roots in sex work. Whether it came directly from us or indirectly through porn, partners, or pop culture, the influence is there. The way people move. The language they use. The confidence they aspire to. The aesthetics of desire. The comfort with kink. The freedom to explore.

These things did not appear out of nowhere. They were shaped by people who have lived inside the erotic realm for decades.

Not all sex workers are teachers, but many of us are. We have answered thousands of questions. We have soothed nerves. We have modeled boundaries. We have named what others were too ashamed to say. We have helped people find their yes and their no.

Being at the Table Means Being Heard

It is not enough to talk about sex workers. We must be in the room. In the curriculum. On the panel. In the advisory role. On the podcast. In the research. In the healing spaces.

Too often, people want our insights but not our names. Our labor but not our leadership. Our stories but not our sovereignty.

We belong at the table. Not as decoration. Not as cautionary tales. Not as entertainment. As professionals. As peers. As people with something to teach.

Sex Workers Hold Generational Knowledge

In a world where many people are never touched with reverence, sex workers are often the first to offer it. We know how to track breath. How to respond to a flinch. How to pause when energy shifts. How to say, You do not have to pretend here.

We have learned these things from each other. From mentors. From chosen family. From back rooms and green rooms and long car rides after work. From listening. From surviving. From loving people others have written off.

This is wisdom. And it should be protected, not punished.

Stop Talking About Us Like We Are Not in the Room

You do not have to agree with every kind of sex work. You do not have to understand every decision someone makes. But if you are going to talk about sexuality, healing, embodiment, or consent, and not include us, you are missing something vital.

We are not new to this. We are not a trend. We are not optional.

Sex workers belong at the table because we helped build it.

With love,
Nina