Anal Play for First-Timers: Tips for a Smooth (and Slippery) Start
Backdoor basics, prep, communication, and toy intro
Hello, my beautiful, brave, and slightly nervous friend.
If you’re here reading this, you’re probably curious about anal play. Maybe you’ve heard it can feel incredible. Maybe a partner brought it up. Maybe your own finger slipped back there one night in the bath and your body went, oh... what was that?
Let me say this first. There is no shame in this game. Anal play is perfectly normal. It’s been part of human sexuality forever. And yes, it can be intimate, intense, hilarious, emotional, and deeply pleasurable. But if it’s your first time, I want to help you do it with care, curiosity, and comfort.
Start With the Mind
Before anything physical happens, we begin with the mind. Anal play is not just about the body. It’s about trust, awareness, communication, and clear yeses.
Ask yourself why you want to explore this. Are you curious about your own pleasure? Looking to bond more deeply with a partner? Reclaiming something? Seeking sensation? Every reason is valid. What matters is knowing your own motivation and setting the emotional stage.
This is also the time to talk with your partner, if you have one. Discuss what you're open to, what you're nervous about, what feels exciting, and what feels off-limits. Use words like “I'd like to try,” “I'm curious,” or “I want to go slow.” This is not the time to be shy. Clear communication builds trust, and trust makes your body feel safe enough to open.
The Truth About Preparation
Here's what no one tells you in mainstream porn. Anal sex takes preparation. You don't just "go for it" and hope for the best. The anus doesn't self-lubricate, and the inner muscles need to feel relaxed in order to receive anything comfortably.
So here's your short checklist:
Go to the bathroom first. You want to feel empty and relaxed.
Clean the area gently. Some people feel better using a small enema, but that's not required for light external play.
Have towels or wipes nearby. Keep things low-stress and easy to clean.
Most importantly, use lube. More lube. No really, even more lube. I’m a big fan of thick, long-lasting silicone-based lubes for anal play, but water-based works too. Just don’t skimp.
Start Small
And I mean small. A pinky finger with a glove. A slim silicone toy with a flared base. A gentle rimming touch with lots of verbal check-ins.
There’s no prize for skipping steps. You can spend an entire session just exploring the outside of the anus. There are tons of sensitive nerve endings right there. Gentle circles, soft pressure, light tapping — it’s all part of the journey.
Let your body lead. If it tenses up, pause. If you feel curious, lean in slowly. And remember, penetration isn’t the goal. Pleasure is.
Toys for Beginners
If you're ready to explore toys, choose ones made for anal use. That means they have a base or a handle, so they won’t slip too far inside. Start with something narrow, soft, and flexible. A small plug. A silicone bead chain. A curved finger toy.
Warm the toy in your hand or under warm water. Add lube generously. Go slow, breathe deeply, and don’t be afraid to laugh. Laughter and pleasure make excellent bedfellows.
Check In Often
Anal play is an act of vulnerability. It requires slowness, trust, and listening — to your body or your partner’s body. Keep checking in with yourself or the person you're playing with. Does this feel good? Do I want to keep going? What would feel even better?
There is no rush. The first time might just be about dipping your toe into the idea. The second time might involve a little pressure. The third might be a deeper exploration. Every step is a win.
Final Thoughts From Auntie Nina
Anal pleasure is real. It’s not dirty, weird, or only for certain people. It belongs to anyone with a butt and a willingness to learn.
You deserve touch that feels good, that feels safe, that meets your body with curiosity and care. And if you're brave enough to explore back there, you’re already doing something loving for yourself. Your body is allowed to feel this much pleasure. Full stop.
If you ever need a cheerleader, you know where to find me.
Now grab your lube, your curiosity, and a sense of humor. Your body has so much more to teach you.